True to its appointment for another year, Dragonera Rossa has released the new Cirigothic Casamia with all the predictions for what will happen in the year 2022. Read carefully line by line, month by month to be the first to know. Enjoy reading!

GREAT KYTHIRAIKOS KAZAMIA 2022

Faithful to our annual appointment with fate, bound by destiny, we offer readers, free of charge, the shocking predictions for the new year, approved by the scientific committee of astrologers of Dragonera. For your own sake, do not defy them. No regrets because we told you so, but if we lose you, who will we warn next year?;

January

Eyewitnesses report the appearance of the figure of Andreas Papandreou in the night-time spotlight over Travasarianika, resulting in the conversion of a well-known constitutionalist who rushes to get the couvid vaccine.

Hidden micro-chip is accidentally discovered on the left thumb of a vaccinated doctor while he was playing the guitar. The discovery leads to the resignation of the entire surgical team and an Internal Investigation is ordered at Kythera General Hospital.
He hangs up the internet for 2 whole days. Frustration at the Sunday Hiking Tasting Group as the participants couldn't get along and all made the same starchy socks. The organizer ended up in the hospital as he diligently tried to eat from all the plates.

February

Kythera establishes an Energy Community. Moved everyone at the modest event held at Gerakari drank faturada and ate rosettes. They walked through the beautiful forest, experienced the trails of the area and ended up for a swim at the beach of Routsouna. «Wow, nice place to invest, no?» exclaimed an excited Kythirian lobbyist from the diaspora.
Mysterious surface explosion just outside Kofinidia. An elderly fisherman, known to the authorities for a previous case of fishing with prohibited explosives, is missing.

The Kythera airport manager announced the annual announcement programme, continuing the tradition of the previous one that announced announcements every three months.

March

The debate about the need for biological treatment of the River is being revived, following the increasing occurrence of colour changes in endemic fauna.

New measures to limit spread following the publication of research revealing that the P variant of the coyote only hovers low near the floor : in dining areas sitting is forbidden, in classrooms not equipped with two-storey desks only 4 students are allowed standing on one leg in each corner, in stadiums ball boys will have to step on stilts and any goal scored by a header will count double.
Stunningly executed and created goal by a well known blacksmith, balladeer and charmer of the island is ruled out by the var as offside at the start of the phase, after using the line. “I'm going for squid” he said and avoided questions visibly chapped.

April

The Stars win the Kythera League after the completion of the playoffs. Fortuna Rutsuna finish second and will fight for survival in the big league in the barrage against Astera.
Nine months have passed since the last desecration of the flag at the Diakoftian hairpin. During the solemn triumphal procession, the Coast Guard paraplegic fainted when, according to her, the flag was in tears.
Transfer of 400 new policemen to the Kythera police station solves the demographic problem of the country. Traffic gridlock outside the Crucifixion, 207% increase in search in the BDSM and My little Kitty category.

May

World Climate Change Day: the entire opposition proposed to the mayor to post the week's projects in a bundle once every Saturday afternoon instead of 5 times a day. «It is estimated that just by reducing the mayor's social media posts by 50%, carbon dioxide emissions would be reduced by 7.2 tonnes per year» says Greenpeace.
A brother of an opposition politician takes a project from the municipality and the next day gives it back at his brother's urging. «If the whole deputy mayor gave it to me, what could I do?» the former allegedly said. «Tell him to b..... » replied the second, and his shouts could be heard all the way to the Outer Hamburg.
The final of the finals for the most famous Kytherian, between Emilios Ch. and Gavrilis P., who tied in all categories of documentaries and specials on Kythera, was renamed «the duel of the ages». The title between HΨ was decided in the last competition which was the «creation in Kythera», when Ψ transcribed an electrocardiogram of acute myocardial infarction on a guitar tablature of Acharisti.

June

A well-known shipowner donates 2 armored jeeps and 1 stealth yacht to the Southwestern Kythera Regional Council. «We had such jeeps but teppa, dax» the local president reportedly muttered during the handover ceremony.
The New Deal is here. A meaningful statement was made by a leading figure who, when not asked, replied “it is not yet time”.
In honor of the great actor who advertised the island in the film «We have a life», Cape Horn is renamed «Cape Horn», outside of Kapsali. Confusion in world tourist guides, official protest by the Chilean ambassador. Watching from the square of Chora forest fire burning the area, French businessman exclaims: «Bon! Bon! Ε; Ε;».

kythiraikos kazamias 6

July

A boat with refugees docks at Mikro Dragonara. An online newspaper urges the authorities to grant them asylum so that they can integrate harmoniously into the local community, as Christian love combined with the lack of working hands dictates. Embarrassment in the Metropolis, to hackers the owner attributes the post.
In the end, the migrants were all local Kytherians who were picking salt in Dragonares and had been caught a little too much by the sun. The FBI team considered the mission accomplished. Local media expresses doubts about whether the case should be filed. “Maybe the solidarians are involved, too,” a well-known influencer is reported to have said at a Prairie club.
The 4th attempt of the River Recreation Association to line the parking lot ends in a fiasco. Driver disputes, traffic police unable to enforce the law. The President of the Local District welcomes the initiative of the kindergarten children to paint the asphalt for free with crayons and markers.

August

In an online meeting of the Kythera Municipal Council, confusion was created when a councillor of the opposition allegedly answered Yes to a question he had been told to say No. The matter passed with his vote. Eventually the council chairman, looking closely at the YouTube video, realises that the colleague never said Yes but Beye and cancels the vote.
Miraculous resuscitation in Melidoni. 98-year-old Italian tourist who tried to swim to Kyriakoulou wakes up after 27 minutes of rigor. Facing the rescuer of the Volunteer Group who was giving him the kiss of life, he chanted: «Sono molto felice che siamo finalmente insieme mia cara Lucia!»
Dozens of residents and holidaymakers of Kapsali got a boat. Small and large boats, in various colours, filled the beach and the harbour. Daily trips to Chitra create a sea traffic jam. The inconvenience for boaters, bathers and fish is great : «We are having a black summer«. The president of the Home Islands is satisfied: «The place has come alive«.

September

Quarterly traffic counts on the new Antikythera River bypass (0.78 vehicles/24 hours) have solemnly confirmed the feasibility study of the project. «We are moving forward with the direct link between Galaniana and Katchaneviana, a chronic demand of the residents and a breath of fresh air project for the decongestion of Agios Myronas,» the mayor stated in a post.

Cutting and drying of trees in Karavas. The caravanserais take the law into their own hands. Determined not to leave tree for tree, they cut down everything they find around the perimeter. The village is soon designated a world heritage site of idiocy and the president of the home office himself plants marble slabs at three points around the perimeter of the village. The deputy mayor in charge becomes furious and decides to act. He gathers his archive and holds a photo exhibition entitled «I don't chew» at the Karava school. The mayor sends him a congratulatory SMS and regrets that he cannot attend.
Austria's real estate bubble bursts, causing the Vienna Philharmonic to be evicted from Wiener Musikverein. The homeless orchestra is appealing for housing in the Maison Panagiotou. «Let us hear you first,» the director of the River Philharmonic reportedly says, and at the audition he asks them to play “Daddy Cool”

October

Bad weather hits the central island. The heavy rainfall causes a slope to collapse at Viaradika, revealing a cemetery of the late Minoan period. Among the grave goods found in good condition are a box tablet, 1 speedmaster, a number of LED lamps and switchgear. The Ephorate of Antiquities declares the island's electrical shops an archaeological site of absolute protection.
The five members of Enchorio commissioned a marble craftsman to build the busts of the five members, which will be placed on the island of Diakofti so that people coming by boat can see that the place has patrons.
Ventema. The local workforce is grasping the olives and unable to meet the increased demand in the construction sector.
In addition to asphodels, onions and cyclamen, tomatoes are growing on the new asphalt road to Progi as the work was completed in summer and tomatoes were on the main menu of the workers' lunch. The shortage of local vegetables at the River Bazaar is giving rise to thoughts of paving the square.

November

A special team of the Union of Self-Proclaimed Journalists, with the help of a special team of the FBI and a special team of the Coast Guard, uncover a special migrant trafficking ring in Kythera. The deputy mayor of civil protection is arrested by mistake but is identified and released the same night.
Oil in Paleopolis. Locals discovered a deposit by digging for gravel. «The metal drilling pillars will be plastered with traditional curasan,» says the Minister of Culture, following a written protest by the Association of Archaeologists.
A record number of leaflets were found in a recycling bin in neighbouring Milan, where employees and members of the Kythera Municipality's Tourism Committee spend their holidays. The leaflets are printed on 100% recyclable material assure sources close to the municipality. The magic papers disappeared in a few minutes. «They were right who insisted on printing large quantities» proudly declares a soul of tiarapropitirum para pom and enters into a commercial agreement with a major football club.