You wouldn't have gone on holiday if these 25 things hadn't happened to you

It's a cliché, but like any cliché, it's also very true: most of us «wait all year for summer vacation». Some plan it long in advance, some find some last-minute solution, some want total relaxation, some want unbridled fun, some intend to throw it all out and spoil themselves a little, and some want to explore nature with more determination than Burr Grills in Man vs. Wild.

Whatever category you belong to, however, there are those little details that happen to almost every one of us every year and form the little holiday ritual that unites us all.

To put it another way, you didn't go on holiday...

If you didn't climb aboard anxiously to get a good seat - the ones with the canapés or even a whole table in the canteen, for the more ambitious - and the best you could do was to find a seat on the deck, where the sun only hit one of your profiles.

If you didn't «spy» on all the strangers around you on the boat. We don't mean that literally, but when you see that family sitting in front of you strolling through the alleys of the island, that couple next to you having a drink and again next to you at the bar in the evening and that lonely traveller with the huge back pack drinking Greek coffee every morning at the same table in the main café on the island, reading his book and saying «He was on the same boat as us», you know your holiday has taken off.

If the room you booked didn't have a surprise. We don't mean pleasant. You know, that it says sea view and a hint of water on the horizon with binoculars, that the bathroom has a shower the size of a hobbit, that the humidity penetrates every last bone (and your nose), that you can hear in Dolby Surround what's going on in the surrounding rooms, that mosquitoes and other bugs are having a party around your bed and generally, that you're being tortured.

If, again, you're a camper, even if you've logged miles with your tent, something will go wrong again this year. You'll pitch the tent at the wrong angle and the sun will be beating your face by 6am, that one stake you weren't sure you put in properly will come off in the middle of the night with the first strong breeze, your back will be covered in bruises because you forgot your sleeping pad and, by necessity, you slept on the rocks.

If the inside of your suitcase wasn't once again the wrong proportions. Once again you forgot your comb or shampoo (you'll try in vain to find something close to these in the local mini market) and brought a pile of extra clothes that will return intact to Athens because, after all, you've been walking around all day in your swimsuit and shorts.

If you didn't get lost at least once on the island, even if all the GPS in the car were on. And how could you not get lost, after all, on those artery-like dirt roads with names like «Side Road A’, »Road 4«, and so on.

If you haven't caught a provincial radio station that made you wonder how many Greek light folk singers there are that you don't know - but also how many times the «same» song can be written.

If your flip-flop hasn't been cut off. How much climbing and descending among dirt and pebbles can she endure? The bad news is that, honoring Murphy's Law, this will happen at some point when you are far from «civilization», so until you get a replacement pair, you will try to «tie» the broken flip-flop up with a staple gun if it is in front of you.

If you didn't fight the battle of the deckchair. Sadly, we've all become Cerberus, waiting for the moment when someone makes the slightest movement that suggests they're about to leave. In no time at all, we were over his head with a polished eye in order to get a seat on his lounger.

If, respectively, you did not fight the battle of the umbrella. You found the perfect spot, that, of course, does not mean that the umbrella will work with you. You fix it as well as you can, you find the biggest stones to put on its base, you take pride in your construction. Until the first rudimentary breeze brings it all over you and repeat the process all over again. At the same time, all the other umbrellas and shades around have not moved in the slightest.

If you haven't forgotten, even once, to apply sunscreen, generally or locally. And you ended up with a light lobster color on your shoulders or that spot on your back that you didn't reach well.

If you didn't try to capture with your phone the beauty of that magical beach or full moon and ended up filling your photo gallery with 40 identical images showing a typically ok coastline and a bright dot on a black background, respectively.

If you didn't get at least one extra dish in a tavern, which, after all, you only barely touched. We get it, you were pretty hungry after your swim and those pumpkin croquettes looked delicious, but you already ordered 4 other appetizers and 3 mains.

If it didn't «catch your eye» and you got one of the worst dishes on the list. But why would you get meatballs in a tavern where all the tables are eating fish and seafood? At best, they'll look like juicy ping pong balls.

If you didn't fight the flies and sphinxes. If the restaurateur had not provided burnt coffee on the tables in the saloon, then, by rough math, you spent 60% of your time in the tavern chasing away insects and 40% actually eating (exhausted).

If you didn't go to the fancy cocktail shop in the Country and after studying the list hard to order the most delicious and imaginative cocktail, you finally got the one that just looks like someone mixed 8 fruit juice with vodka in a nice glass with lots of ice cubes.

If you didn't catch a DJ in the island bar with a typically laid-back and «walking» style who, in fact, «cooks» every night the same list of 50 tracks (often in lousy remixes), the most recent of which came out when we were taking the Euro.

If you didn't forget to put on mosquito repellent on your night out and now you're looking at who got more pooped than the other from the bites.

If you haven't had some of the worst coffee of your life. Unfortunately, coffee is usually a tough slog on islands and villages, and you'll be lucky if you can find a fresh espresso that tastes even slightly better than water and dirt.

If you don't run into that one annoying hipster tourist who asks for a latte with almond milk at the country's traditional bakery and vegan meatballs at Vangelis' steakhouse.

If you didn't put at least 3 trunk books in your suitcase, determined to get the reading «broken» of the whole year and ended up barely reading 40 pages of a single one of them. After all, the sea and our surroundings will always win us over.

If, after accepting that you won't read much this year either, you didn't get a crossword issue. And if you didn't bet on solving a single one and didn't succeed. But really, who knows who this Romanian gerontologist with seven letters is?;

If you don't run into the last person you expected to see on the same island, on the same beach, on a sun lounger next to you. That classmate you liked but never really got close to, that co-worker from your previous job, your third cousin from your mother's side of the family, and in general, people you haven't seen in over a decade - not to mention shortly after your baptism.

If you didn't swear that this is the last time you go on holiday with a large group of people. Between you and me, if you're over 25 why would you go on holiday with 6 other people, each of whom wants their holiday differently, from how they drink their coffee to how they perceive relaxation and fun?;

If you haven't found a reason to want to return to this island again or to go on holiday with the same people again.