Fresh off the press, with the scent of the printing press still lingering on its pages, the 2021 edition of *Megas Kythiraikos Kazamias* has been released by the «publishing house» Dragonera Rossa! This iconic publication is true to its appointment with the Tsirigotes for an enjoyable tour of the events of the near future. Month by month, the pages «turn»—or rather, «scroll»—on your computer screen. Get ready, sit back, and start reading. Kythera.News warmly thanks the «publishing house» Dragonera Rossa for the honor of granting us the right to include it as an insert on our website. Here’s to next year!

The Great Kythira Kazamias 2021

True to her appointment with her avid readers, Dragonera proudly presents and offers the public the Great, Unparalleled, Prophetic Kazamia for the year 2021.

The phenomenal success of the forecasts for 2020 It startled even us. The following have become fixtures in the editorial board’s top 10 most common expressions:

#1 – «That’s what I was saying’

#2 – «I told you so!«

#5 – «I wanted to talk to you, you jerk» and

#10 – «Those idiots will say we did it.«.

But we won't dwell on ourselves any longer—read this, understand it, start trembling from now on, and then say, «I didn't understand.».

January

• The mayor of Kythira is threatening on Facebook that if he isn’t the first among all Kythirians to get vaccinated, he will go on a hunger strike. «I am the first citizen of this place,» he wrote pointedly. No one believes him, and the vaccine was administered first to the doctors and nurses at the Kythira Hospital.
• Following a complaint from a local resident, police raided a New Year’s cake-cutting celebration in Firoi. Despite the use of a sound system, no fines were issued, but strict warnings were given to those present regarding the «potential invitation of guests.».
• After a 19-day delay, Dragoneira Rossa’s *Kazamias 2021* is being released. The 16-day reduction in the delay compared to 2020 is creating a frenzy and sending sales soaring. «We still have a long way to go. We’re treating each release individually; we’ll take stock at the end,» says the publishing director.
• Following a coordinated operation, a cannabis plantation with a 47-centimeter-tall plant was dismantled in Dourianika. The pot was confiscated.

February

• A senior member of the Dragoneira Rosa organization is arrested. Following mass demonstrations across the island, the arrested individual is brought before a regular court and released on the condition that he not leave Chora. Following intervention by Amnesty International, he is permitted—under police escort—to travel as far as Livadi.
• It is announced that on the 17th of the month, fishing is permitted for 2 hours from 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. That same evening, the relevant deputy minister announces a relaxation of the measures and an extension until 5:00 p.m., resulting in an unprecedented rise in the government’s approval ratings and a drop in the price of hanou.
• Overnight rainfall caused a 17-kilogram boulder to slide down, blocking the road to Heladi. The Local Authority responds immediately; after reviewing the bids, by noon it awards the contract «Restoration of road passability following a natural disaster» to a well-known contractor on the island for a fee of 24,800.00 euros.

March

• The icon has disappeared from Myrtidia. A priest and the woman who looks after the monastery confirm that the lock was not tampered with. Police are conducting sweeping checks and breathalyzer tests across the island. A coast guard officer discovers it in a large vehicle (in the trunk of a Cayenne) during a check at the port of Diakofto, just before it was about to enter Porfyrousa. The vehicle belongs to a well-respected Greek philanthropist who states that he intended to return her.
• A cocaine processing lab was discovered on the Venezuela-Colombia border, and the news was reported by a local media outlet in Kythira, causing a stir among the island’s residents.
• The mayor of Kythira is demanding in strong terms on Facebook that mayors also be granted parliamentary immunity. «This persecution of us must stop now. Mayors must be able to do whatever we want without consequences. Period,» he wrote emphatically.
• The 200th anniversary of the Greek Revolution was celebrated with great pomp. Holograms of Kolokotronis and rusks from all of the island’s certified producers are projected onto the stone wall of Agia Moni.

April

• A cannabis plantation was discovered somewhere in northern Greece, and the news was reported by a local media outlet on Kythira, causing a stir among the island’s residents.
• Despite the restoration studies and the scientific recommendations of the conservators, the Byzantine frescoes in all the chapels of Kato Chora, Mylopotamos, are being painted over with white acrylic paint. «Because it’s cheaper!» the contractor exclaims in surprise, and the responsible Ephorate of Antiquities is ultimately persuaded to amend the contract.
• The 1st administrative act for 2021 was issued by the Urban Planning and Construction Department of the Municipality of Piraeus. It concerns the approval of small-scale construction work to replace three broken roof tiles on a ground-floor residence in Logothetianika. The fortunate owner saw his application processed by the automated permit issuance system in a record time of 812 days. «Proof that when there is political will, anything is possible,» said the deputy mayor in charge.
• A felled pine tree in the center of Karava is shedding saplings, which are being removed immediately to prevent the risk of fire. The president of the local council states that, with the approval of the forestry office, three municipal councilors, and local council presidents, all the trees on the island will be cut down.  In their place, firebreaks will be created at a cost of 24,800.00 euros each.

May

• Second Easter with a mask. The Metropolitan of Kythira, in a three-volume pastoral encyclical, calls on the Christian flock to go on a «mask strike,» paraphrasing the Apostle Paul: “I will not wear a mask for all eternity.”
• The Municipality of Kythira announced that it is seeking a fixed annual payment of 320,000,00 euros per year from the Ministry of the Interior was announced by the Municipality of Kythira following the mayor’s on-site inspection of the Lachnos landfill and his statement: «Our country is avoiding annual fines totaling 320,000€.».
• The Çapa Bizim, a luxury speedboat carrying tourists from Turkey docks at the port of Antikythira and unloads a prefabricated military barracks painted in the blue-and-white colors of the Greek flag as a symbolic gift of reconciliation. The captain declares: «Akdeniz’de dostluk mümkündür. Sualtı Osmanlı antikaları üzerine bir araştırma yapmak istiyoruz.» Translated: «Friendship in the Mediterranean is possible. We also want to conduct research on underwater Ottoman antiquities.».

June

• The Metropolis of Kythira and Antikythira officially declared the disappearance of the icon from Myrtidia and its reappearance two days later in Diakofti to be a miracle. The investigation into the authenticity of the miracle lasted several weeks and required many generous donations from a well-known benefactor.
• An article by ELETAEN in a reputable local newspaper about the benefits of phasing out lignite has led to the conversion of the grill at the Potamos stadium so that it no longer uses charcoal but instead runs onpower from the (typically used during match hours) loudspeaker.
• At the auction for the municipal building in Potamos Square (the former bank), the winning bid was submitted by a consortium of a local oil trader in partnership with companies representing Cypriot, Chinese, and Egyptian interests. Rumors suggest it will be converted into a arcade featuring retro consoles first released before 1984.
• Renaming of Kythira State Airport from «Alexander Onassis» to «Nils Holgersson,» ahead of the first charter flight arrival from Sweden.

July

• An emergency contract worth 24,800.00 euros to improve the parking area at Vlychada Beach solves the problem of SUV congestion. The son of a former municipal employee withdraws his lawsuit against the local municipality for lost profits.
• A family-owned business is expanding its operations in Potamos by opening two new take-away restaurants. One features traditional cuisine and desserts such as kazan dibi, baklava, and soutzouk loukoum; and one featuring Spanish cuisine, tapas, chilled sangria, and delicious tortillas with potatoes.
• Toward a Kythirian New Deal (New Deal), as clarified in a statement being released simultaneously across all local media outlets. The New Deal will be development-oriented, respecting both the environment and the needs of the local community.  DEKS is committed to providing more information about the New Deal, but “the time is not yet right,” as a founding member is reported to have stated.

August

• As part of the planned events marking the 200th anniversary of the Revolution of 1821, the majority of city council members are visiting Myrtidiotissa dressed as heroes of the War of Independence. The commander of the local police station attributed the imposition of a fine on a city council member who disembarked from a private boat in Limnaria wearing a Bouboulibut without a mask.
• A well-known media mogul from Kythira launches an online TV channel and faces his first lawsuits even before the inaugural broadcast.
• A drunk Israeli art curator attempts to rob the country's bank and then sets off to return to his lodging naked. In his defense, he claims that it was an impromptu artistic performance.

September

• A nationwide meeting of the movement against the spread of industrial wind farms concluded with a triumphant award ceremony honoring the mayor of Kythira, who was recognized for his anti-imperialist, ecological struggle. «As long as I am mayor, not a single wind turbine will be installed on the island,» he declared, flipping through a 2023 calendar to see when the elections are.
• The Minister of Culture is introducing a new archaeological law under which «tourists from every corner of the globe will be able to borrow Greek antiquities from anywhere in the country for as long as they wish.« The bill provides for the artifacts to be shipped to the homes of philhellenes via cash-on-delivery. Following a united backlash from the opposition, the minister makes a corrective amendment and stipulates that «tourists must first send a text message to the cell phone of the relevant mayor.» The law was passed by all parties except the KKE.
• A blasphemous play is being staged at the Chora Association, when an amateur theater troupe, contracted to perform 12 celebratory one-act plays on the theme of Kythira’s liberation from the Nazis, presents to the astonished audience an adaptation of *Dracula of Exarchia* with the president of the Philharmonic in the title role.

October

• The announcements by the DEKS regarding the New Deal have caused a global stir. Renowned think tanks have thrown themselves into studying the model proposed by the Kythirian development experts. ECIPE and Carnegie are asking to learn more. «The time isn’t right yet,» a DEKS official is reported to have said. Meanwhile, the mayor of Kythira and Antikythira, upon hearing about the New Deal (New Deal), gets confused and implements the New BILL, which includes inflated municipal fee bills.
• In the rain, the protest march against the exclusion of Fortuna Routsouna from the local soccer league—which is now left without a team—ends peacefully outside Karinos’s store. The protester hands a resolution to the newsstand owner, since all the other shops are closed.
• A sudden downpour causes damage to beaches. The seabed at Melidoni and Chalkos is littered with broken umbrellas and lounge chairs, and the Komponada beach bar has been washed ashore at Kakoplaka.
• Residents« reactions when a contractor filled in an archaeological site in Diakofti during road construction work leading to the saltworks. The director of the Islands Archaeological Service reacted immediately and sent an urgent letter in which she emphasized, among other things: «You’re a good kid, and we look forward to a good working relationship in the future, so okay, just don’t do it again, okay?”

November

• A sudden fall visit by a foreign tourist to Diakofto catches the government off guard. The flag on the flagpole is tattered. The fiasco is averted at the last minute thanks to the intervention of a local painter, and in the end, the tourist declares, «Kythira is Greece.»
• Russia, Vladimir Putin resigns, and the young leader of the Russian revolutionaries, Georgy Anastasievich Rulin Rozoliov, takes over on an interim basis; he will lead the country withsafely toward the abolition of elections. The first flails make their appearance in Karava, Potamos, Avlaimon, and Mylopotamos.
• The Metropolitan of Kythira reveals to the entire nation that the chickenpox vaccine is made from the blood of the endangered purple Damascus goat of Kalamoun, which lives at an altitudealtitude of over 1,200 meters, as monks from the Monastery of Saint Moses the Ethiopian (Deir Mar Musa al-Habashi) in Syria informed him by telephone.

December

• An unrepentant spearfisher roams the island in his wetsuit and fins, day and night. When asked by friends and relatives, he replies that he’s doing it to prove right the fortune-teller of Dragonera who predicted it.
• The Pulitzer Prize is being awarded for the first time to a journalist from Kythira for his honesty whenever he changes his opinion, and for his journalistic courage in admitting that he was previously misinformed, without, however, revealing his sources.
• The ratification of the forest maps—which were first published, then unofficially ratified, and subsequently annulled—has been postponed until the spring of 2028. Through coordinated efforts by the Port Authority and the legal staff of the Local Government, an objection is filed against the designation of the Nordland shipwreck on Prasonisi as a forest area.