8 ways to help a friend with depression

In recent years depression has become quite common in people. Our way of life, the crisis that has plagued us in recent years, changes in society and other things have contributed to the fact that there are many people suffering from depression. Chances are that someone you know struggles with depression on a daily basis. If this person is close to you, you may want to do what you can to improve the way he or she feels and help him or her. Which of these tips you follow depends on the relationship you have with him or her, exactly where they are at, and how much you are willing to help.

Avoid common stereotypes

For all people, things like a sunny day, fresh air, and a positive attitude make people feel good about life and give them the strength and courage to carry on. All of these things may not be possible or helpful to people with depression. Depression is a mental disorder, rather than a fleeting feeling. Trying to give your friend some joy and well-being by showing them things like this so that they experience depression as something imaginary can make your friend feel even worse and at the same time diminish their internal struggle. In this way you end up doing the exact opposite of what you are trying to accomplish, making your friend feel better.

Don't treat him differently from before and differently from others

One of the worst things you can do is to change the way you treat your depressed friend. Neglecting to invite him to your birthday party because you feel he wouldn't want to come can make him feel excluded. Even if you think he may decline your invitation you should not not invite him to your party. You should also make sure as much as you can that your other friends and family members treat him just as they did in the past. Just as you treat your other friends you should treat him. This will surely make him feel equal to the rest of your friends. Do not change your behavior towards him under any circumstances. If you focus on his sadness constantly it will only make him focus more on his sadness. Continue to talk to him about the same things you have always talked about as if nothing has changed. Keep going to your favorite places together and send the same funny messages you used to send him in the past. This will give a sense of normalcy in his life which is important when someone is feeling bad psychologically.

Understand that she may not want the same things she wanted in the past

It is true that depression can suddenly change a person. He or she may not feel as outgoing as before. Your friend, now having depression, may have used to be the life of the party, telling jokes, teasing others, dancing and making everyone laugh, but now he feels more comfortable at home sitting on the couch. If he doesn't want to go out and be with friends, you should go to him. It doesn't help at all if you leave him alone. You need to make him feel that he has people to lean on, people who will help him, that he is not alone. You may need to take the initiative to come to him when your friend has withdrawn a little more than the others. Don't wait for him to invite you to his home create opportunities for you to go to him and see him, to keep him company, to still catch up like you used to.

Support him in what he loves

People with depression sometimes lose touch with the hobbies or interests they once had. Depression creates something of a cloud that makes joy and pleasure seem unattainable or foggy at times. If your depressed friend used to love to write and read, give them the opportunity to relive that joy by gifting them a series of books on subjects they enjoyed and may still enjoy. Give them a small gift that is tailored to their hobbies to remind them that you are thinking of them and that you are close to them. Let your imagination work, you know your friend best. If he liked gardening, offer to come over and help harvest his vegetables or tend to his flowers. If he liked football discuss with him the latest exploits of his team. Encourage him to watch a game of his team together even if you don't particularly like the sport. If your friend liked fashion suggest that you go for a walk in the shops. Many times buying new things can help people suffering from depression. These are small but very supportive steps in the right direction. Show that you want to be with him or her and continue to want to do things together that you used to do in the past.

Make yourself available

You need to make your depressed friend feel that you are always there for them. Even if he doesn't take you up on your offer to hang out, it could be comforting to know that he always has someone to turn to if he happens to be feeling particularly low or even lonely. You should let him know that he can talk to you whenever he needs to and that you will be there to hear everything from him without judgment. Listen to whatever they have to say and try to put the positive side of things forward. Never, ever judge what he has to say to you. When you have kind words to say about something he says always be generous. Don't skimp on the compliments and kind words that will lift him up and make him feel better.

Don't be offended by his behaviour

Your friend with depression may not want to talk or may stop wanting to hang out or go out together. The worst thing you could do, in this situation, is to be pushy or show him or her that you are offended. Most likely, your boyfriend may not understand how or why his behavior has bothered you. Remember that people who are depressed deal with a lot of their own sad feelings and don't want to feel responsible for how others feel either. Your friend may cancel plans you made from time to time or not return a phone call. Under no circumstances should you act selfishly and sulk at him or her. Just give him some time and most likely with your help he will realize that his behavior was not the right one. Be patient and that way you will really help him.

You need to keep yourself fit

There is no way you can help someone who is depressed if you are not in the best shape you can be. You should not let this particular situation get to you and let yourself down. You will not be strong enough to be able to cope with the situation. Try to keep yourself healthy and in the best possible mood. Proper diet and exercise will definitely help you in this. On the other hand, this way you will also set a good example to your boyfriend and maybe this will make him emulate you. This will of course be very good for him too and will help him to start seeing things in a different light.

Use all the help you can get

In trying to cope with the depression of a friend or even a relative you need to be strong. You should not let this particular situation get the better of you. Don't forget that : throwing yourself full force into dealing with other people's depression can lead you to fatigue and in turn you can fall into depression, which will be the worst thing for both of you. Remember that you are not a therapist or psychologist and have neither the experience nor the knowledge to deal with such situations. While you are trying to do what you can to help the situation, that does not mean that you are an expert or that you will be able to deal with a very difficult situation. You need to figure out immediately if the ways you have tried or are trying are working. When you see that whatever you have done cannot help your friend then you should be ready to show your friend resources that they can use such as the help of a professional. A mental health professional may, on the one hand, not sympathize with your friend as you do, but they have the knowledge and resources to be able to help your friend. Don't forget that his or her job can be made easier since he or she will have you as a supporter and helper.

Eugenia Kyrezi