We live in a blessed country. A country where the science of political economy is no longer studied in the writings of Marx, Keynes, or Friedman, but in the pages of government budgets and the digital registries of newly established IT companies.
The government of the Great Modernizer, of Mitsotakis the ’semiotician,« and of 112, has struck again. The monster of inflation, that nameless beast that devours the wages of the common people, has finally met its match. No, don’t expect crackdowns on cartels or a VAT cut—those are anachronistic communist ideas. There is only one solution: it’s visionary and, above all, it’s digital. The »PosoKanei” platform.
Dora would call it «amazing,» and she’d be right. It took Kyriakos Mitsotakis’s personal intervention for us fools to finally realize, after all these years, that accuracy isn’t found on store shelves, but on screens. Let a thousand platforms bloom! We’re optimistic that this is platform number 1,679 of the current term, a fact that proves that for every problem in this country, New Democracy has a ’connection number« ready.
Of course, the Greeks« malice is legendary. Some cynics—those eternal grumblers who can’t appreciate the greatness of the digital state—wonder: »But seriously, how is a platform going to bring prices down?”.
You penny-pinching hypocrites! Don't you understand that the platform wasn't created to drive down prices? It was created to boost the revenue of «our own people.».
The system is simple, tried and tested, and thoroughly Greek. An IT company that, until twenty days ago, operated as a tire repair shop in Tripoli (because you can tell a good programmer by how well he balances a tire), is taking on this titanic task: «Development of a Comprehensive Digital Monitoring, Mapping, and Visualization of Accuracy, with the Goal of Promptly Informing Citizens That They Cannot Buy Anything».
The cost? A pittance. Just 29,874,156 euros plus VAT, thanks to generous funding from the Recovery and Resilience Fund. To be fair and accurate in our accounting, the 156 euros are earmarked for building the website (a shoddy WordPress site, the kind your nephew throws together over the weekend in exchange for a souvlaki). The remaining 29,874,000 euros are for the «Project Management» and communication. In other words, in the everyday language of ordinary mortals, the starter.
If there’s one thing for which we must acknowledge this government’s innovation, it’s that it has managed to digitize corruption. In the past, to get a bribe, you had to carry bags through dark parking lots. Today, everything is done with a single click, with complete transparency and European funding. It is the digitization of the «real estate» policy. Accuracy isn’t a problem to be solved; it’s simply the pretext and the marketing ploy to channel money in the right direction.
However, the true masterpiece of the government’s strategy lies not in the economic aspect, but in the moral one. With «Poso Kanei,» Kyriakos Mitsotakis achieves a brilliant shift in responsibility. Price accuracy ceases to be a failure of the government and becomes an individual failure of the consumer.
Remember the pandemic. When cases were falling, it was thanks to Mitsotakis’s foresight. When cases rose and the healthcare system collapsed, it was the fault of irresponsible young people who had sex in their pajamas, killing their grandparents.
Exactly the same model is being applied now. The government tells you: «I gave you this state-of-the-art digital tool. I showed you the prices. From here on out, the responsibility is yours.».
So, if you live in Sparta and lettuce at the supermarket costs 2 euros, but the platform reliably informs you that the same lettuce in Argos is on sale for 1.89… well, then if you go and buy it in Sparta, you’ve got what you deserve! Don’t complain about the high prices. You should have taken the bus, gone to Argos, bought the cheap lettuce, and returned triumphant, having saved a whole 11 euro cents. If you don’t do that, you’re simply financially illiterate and obsessive complainers.
But of course, you’ll just keep grumbling. Because, as the great leader would say, looking down at you from his digital pedestal… That's you.
You can complain all you want... but when it comes to the election, it's a close call.
