What's the hardest part you'll face when you start a new relationship? Meeting his or her friends.
It doesn't matter at all if you're a good guy. What matters most is that her friends think you're a good guy, because if they don't, then your days are numbered.
So you don’t end up walking barefoot through thorns, here are the 7 types of people you’ll meet in your new girlfriend’s circle of friends.
Culture
Kouloura is that friend of hers who spends day and night at theaters, experimental venues, and live shows frequented only by friends of the band that’s playing. She’s usually an architect or something similar, dresses a bit eccentrically in lots of colors, and the first time you meet, she’ll start talking about Kafka to test your knowledge. She’s not a bad person; she’s just quirky, and she believes her friend deserves nothing less than a handsome, fit, artistic guy who’s a fan of silent films. Which is exactly what you’re NOT. If you get along well with her, you don’t have to worry about a thing.
The brother
This guy acts from the very beginning as if he’s your friend and not hers. He might have known you for only two hours, but he won’t hesitate to give you a look at a nice butt that just walked by—and he won’t do it to set you up, but because he’s a true brother. He’s been friends with your girlfriend for years, but from the very first moment, you know you can count on him to be on your side. When you’re messing around, he’ll have your back, and in those “who’s-in-charge-my-love” arguments, he’ll always take your side. Respect to the Bro.
The Married Woman
The Married Woman is that kind of girl who’s been with her boyfriend for about 126 years and shares everything with him. They have a joint Facebook profile, pee together in the bathroom, share the same toothbrush, and never go anywhere alone. You’ll meet her, OF COURSE, along with her husband, who’ll be a little more indifferent than Harden on defense (basketball joke—sorry—but that’s what came to mind when I heard the word “indifference”), and you’ll hate them within seconds. Of course, the Married Woman won’t like you one bit, and to make matters worse, she’ll keep talking about nonsense to shut you down. You, sir. She’ll be gone in a minute.
The Crazy One
“The Crazy One” is that little weirdo your girlfriend doesn't really like hanging out with, but they've been friends since high school, so she can't really avoid her that easily anymore. Every time you run into her, she’ll be talking about some jerk of an ex whom she’ll badmouth relentlessly because he made her life a living hell, and a few minutes later she’ll be making plans to go out with him. Don’t try to reason with her—no one has managed to do so yet. She won’t pay any attention to you anyway, except to put you on the spot by asking, “WHY WOULDN’T SHE LIKE ME, NIKO? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?” You’ve had nerves of steel since you were 5, sweetheart—what else could you possibly have? (Don’t say that out loud.)
The mistake
The Mistake. This guy is the exact opposite of the Brother. He’s that jerk who’s had a crush on your girlfriend since she was 12, and since she never gave him the time of day, he decided to become her best friend. He’ll constantly criticize you, get on your nerves, make you fight with your girlfriend, and push you to your limits every day. If you’re a fan of anchovies, he’ll be a fan of sardines—and vice versa; if you like meat, he’ll like fish—and vice versa; and if he realizes he agrees with you on something, he’ll change his mind just to go against you. Watch what you say in front of him. He’s not buying it.
The Grumbler
That whiny, obnoxious girl (come on, you’ve got one like that in your group, too) who’s always complaining about everything and thinks she’s the most miserable person in the world. The one who’ll be the reason your girlfriend stands you up so she can go comfort her because her boss spoke harshly to her. The one who, when the three of you are at home, will stay up until 5 a.m., unable to grasp that a couple wants to have sex every now and then. That one. That obnoxious woman is the Complainer.
The Awesome One
"Gamati" is the female version of "Adelfos." She’ll never be your friend, so don’t get too carried away, but you always know that Gamati is a cool person you want hanging around your girlfriend (and therefore you, too). She’s a pleasant person (usually pretty, too), a cool chick, and from the moment you meet her, you’ll pair her up in your mind with one of your own friends. Logically, this will never happen because your friends are total losers, but you’ll try anyway. “The Hottie” is a good influence on your girlfriend, and kudos to her.
By Nikos Bovolos
